Conflicts about Ceremonies

Abstract Olaf, Inge’s husband, died when he was seventy jour. Before he died, he often spoke with her and their children about what his funeral would be like. He knew there would be crying, but he hoped not much. He knew that someone would talk about him, and he hoped they would at least be fair. And he said that he didn’t want any women soloists. He knew Inge loved sopranos, but he couldn’t resist adding, “I’m afraid I might hear the screeching and not be able to get up and walk out.” When Olef died, Inge made the funeral arrangements herself. She asked her pastor to invite a soprano from the church choir to sing one of her favorite hymns. She was sure Olaf had been joking just to tease her and that he would neither hear nor be distressed. The soloist’s beautiful singing comforted Inge. But Lars, Inge’s oldest son, resented his mother’s decision. When he spoke with me he said, “I can’t understand how she could do such a thing when Dad was so clear about what he wanted. How could she be so selfish? I’ll never forgive her.”