Lying Discrepancies in Parenting: When Beliefs, Actions, and Lessons Diverge

Many parents lie to their children even though they disapprove of lying and teach their children that lying is wrong. However, discrepancies between parents’ attitudes toward lying, their lying behavior, and their teaching about lying have received little empirical attention, and their extent and nature remain largely unknown. In this preregistered study, we examined the prevalence and frequency of parental lying discrepancies, how these discrepancies cluster, and how parents feel about them. Parents (N = 348) of children aged 5–12 years completed 12 scenario-based items assessing discrepancies in other-oriented (i.e., to benefit or protect someone) and instrumental (i.e., to influence someone’s behavior) lying, as well as their feelings about these discrepancies. Descriptive analyses assessed prevalence, frequency, and parents’ feelings, whereas confirmatory and exploratory factor analyses examined clustering.Results indicated that discrepancies between parents’ attitudes, behaviors, and teaching about lying were highly prevalent, with 96.6% of parents showing at least one discrepancy. A substantial proportion of parents (22.4%) reported showing at least one discrepancy often or very often. Depending on the item, 25%–50% reported negative feelings about their discrepancies. Both confirmatory and exploratory factor analyses showed that discrepancies clustered by lie type (other-oriented vs. instrumental lies), suggesting distinct, context-specific patterns rather than a single form of discrepancy. Overall, these findings indicate that discrepancies between what parents believe, do, and teach about lying are widespread, structured, and can evoke negative feelings, highlighting the need for further research on their antecedents and implications for parents and children’s social and moral development.