Letters

Letter undated from John Bauer to Ester Ellqvist, consisting of four pages written on the front and back of a folded sheet of paper. Main writing handwritten but pencil. The letter lacks signature. The style of hand suggests John Bauer as a sender. .. LETTER TRANSCRIPT: .. [Page 1] Esther min You fight and you suffer and I can’t hjalpa dough. Forgive mej. Esther min. Hvad Do you want me to do. That I want dough and own dough and hide dough from everyone else. [overdraft: I want to merge with dough always] I keep af dej more than everything else you know, but I can not help dough with it battle you are now fighting. I know hvad I self g- [?] f- [?] and I know hvad I can poison dough, therefore I can’ t I must not force mej on Dej [Constructed: and] Esther you should be strong. You must sing to oppose them him he who is my Counterparty. Hång is he .. [Page 2] the Good, and Valvillige and Help. He the Most energy. [Constructed: I] learned [Constructed: know] But to love unhappy his fate. I seem about him and he is mine friend. Everything, [exceeded: everything, everything] accepted [overdrawn word] in the world I treat him. Everything. But - dej No du Esther min. O. I know him when he is in love. He understands no noses. But when he to understand them , he faithfully maintains distance and waiting for better occasion. Faithful to him. Faithful as gold. Faithful a dog despite ironing and [exceeded: pray] noses. Delays long before he release. He has energy .. [Page 3] And now he is the one who come between us. Hvad is best for mej? Esther? Turn between your understanding and your will [overcast: and] your feeling. Esther [Constructed: Are You unfortunate is] I [inscribed: is] unhappy. [inscribed: hjalp mej] I understand mej not Do you know. [Inscribed: I’m leaded] I feel like I will never contend for dough. [inscribed: You must follow mej voluntarily] Even a gang forlat Mej. I v- [?] that in it moment you [overworked: walking, walking I.] Said [?] I can leave dough. I never become dej to inconvenience and when you do not want to face mej you do not mej. And yet I know I should sl-ss [?] for dough. [exceeded [?]] Fight I was bleeding. But .. [Page 4] I do not dare. Feg ä I Feg Feg. and worse than an animal for no animal left None [coated: m [?]] his jaw. [exceeded: O k O] I ä dum du. It’s my latest erfa purity, - when I want to find out something for mej soulf in Mej soul is my brain empty, empty and a gray standing wall for mej and I switch and changes colour and stands powerless and I heifer and always ä it your name, and dej I call and only [Constructed: One knows] I’m one thing in full light, I want to to Dry, [Constructed: Kiss Dry] and Dream ma in dough.