Tables at Home

This chapter considers table talk at home in order to understand the significance of conversations in the domestic sphere for civility and democracy. It discusses the complicated relations of domesticity and family, with domination and control, on the one hand, and care and connection, on the other. More specifically, it examines kichen talk, family meals, bridging generations, kids cooking, table manners, talking about one's day, training tables, dinner parties, personal expression, and transition tables. It describes domesticity as a domain of contradictions: inegalitarianism and egalitarianism, hierarchy and democracy, domination and care, gender inequality and gender transformation. It also explores the implications of domesticity for children of blended families and shows that domestic tables are places where we learn rules about sharing, participating, and speaking. Finally, it explains how inclusion in domestic table conversation fosters self-esteem, resiliency, and a sense of belonging to something larger than oneself.