Letters

Letter undated from John Bauer to Ester Ellqvist, consisting of four pages written on the front and back of a weight, thin sheet of paper. Main writing handwritten in pencil. The letter lacks signature. The style of hand suggests John Bauer as a sender. .. LETTER TRANSCRIPT: .. [Page 1] Esther Jodu [or: Jodå] Annu I am the greatest the part yours. You have [inscribed: yet] the largest and most of the shares But I hardly know if you should be happy. [Constructed: But] [exceeded: d] You know mej [overworked words] maybe But do you know I know mej not self. Sometimes mine sounds name mej as alien and I do not understand that The image in the mirror is me. But I am John Bauer Born in Jönköping with parents still in play Fr--- [?] [inscribed: in the Valkanda House] at the Square. After all my atelje this and I have thought to be artist. [indrawn vertical dash] That is the fruit .. [Page 2] af to lefa in an inbid Fire. One comes aldes too far from reality In my wrapped coat is --- [?] a good man, sound and persevering but in it league [overdraft: Yes mild, muck linearly speaking up is dubious.] In a book, I read the sneeze something and I felt like that clear again that. Man in that book dreamed dreamed like me. I am on my -all- [?] in [overdraft: all those rooms] these rooms and these --- [?], --- [?] --- [?] halls, on the streets and squares, In these Old days, [exceeded: vulture] and old songs and old words, hits .. [Page 3] I’m persistent, ever seeing, in a mannish. He is mej inner indifferent and unsympathetic I can not take my eyes away from him. He has my voice and is your friend. He has my eyes but not my gaze. I know mej responsible for what he says and the hvad he does. But that screams in mej that I don’ t Want to Be. Writes vi-t [?] Hallucination is strong, [exceeded: T] and first generation I understand that this man I am self such I spring then and there and there. But then I discover it becomes obe .. [Page 4] The Hagen Fear. And the little one I’ve travelled sej up to my defence. I tie my fve and me rushing around i ---- [?] that I could run from from that. And I roll [coated: mej] on my reindeer traps I had [destroyed: k [?] in --- [?]] [inscribed: an evil spirit] But it doesn’t help enough I can’t be the quit My thoughts tär mej Hvad is then a mannish And hvad she can not become. [Constructed: --- [?] you become one who m [?]] As everything flows and slides and knees [?] Also I was learning about night. You ask mej dream of dough. I have dreamed of dough, but --- [?] ----ligent [?] and inhibitory