Selective Flexibility

Abstract Masculinities play a key role in how men experience and interact with the world. The majority of literature, however, explores masculinities from the perspective of straight cisgender men. This study uses qualitative methods to answer the phenomenological question of how gay men understand and experience masculinity. Participants generally described their experiences with masculinities as gay men as more flexible than normative. There were, however, notable exceptions, particularly in the context of sexual relationships where participants described preferences for normatively masculine men and the association of sexual role preference with masculinity or femininity. Additionally, some men—particularly men of color and transgender men—described experiencing stricter expectations of normative masculinity than their white cisgender counterparts. These findings indicate that gay men perform masculinities differently based on social context and highlight potential racial and gender identity discrepancies.