Apologies and Good Lawyering

In everyday life, apologies are common. For example, if one shopper bumps into another in a crowded grocery store, apologies abound. Or if a child on the playground accidentally crashes into another child, the crashing child will apologize. If the crashing child does not apologize, a teacher, playground monitor, or parent will instruct the child to apologize, because apologizing for hurting someone is the 'right' thing to do. This apology norm largely disappears if the crashing child grows up and becomes a lawyer, however. Despite empirical research showing that apologies have value in settlement, facilitate cost-effective dispute resolution, and are important to injured parties, it appears that lawyers do not regularly either suggest that a client ask for or suggest that a client offer an apology as part of a conflict resolution. Why does the instinct to facilitate dispute resolution with a sincere apology disappear when students enter law school or when law students become lawyers? Some suggest that lawyers – and consequently the clients they advise – disavow apologies as a matter of defense because apologies are viewed as costly admissions of liability. Others suggest that attorneys for injured parties have no obvious incentives to suggest apologies since quick dispute resolution results in smaller legal fees. Still others suggest that those who become lawyers tend to be logical and analytical, and tend to eschew conduct viewed as purely emotive, such as apologizing. This paper shows that a good lawyer must recognize the value of apologies in conflict resolution, litigation, and settlement, and this paper provides guidance for offering apologies.